Paw Paw

I've been thinking about this post for awhile now and I'm still not sure what I'm going to write. This past week has been so emotional for our family and it's hard to put into words what I'm feeling.

A week ago tomorrow David's grandfather, Paw Paw, suffered a massive stroke which he passed away from late Wednesday night. Hearing this news and the updates from David's family as the situation progressed was extremely difficult being so far away. Also, David was to begin his 10 day end of course field exercise on Wednesday which threw a major wrench in everything. We were totally blessed by incredible leadership and extreme understanding from everyone working with David and he was allowed to leave late Thursday evening in the field so we could be home for the weekend.

We arrived in Texas late Friday night and were able to attend the funeral in Hobson on Saturday morning. The day started out foggy and dreary but by the time we arrived at the cemetery the clouds were gone and it had transformed into an incredible spring day. Seeing the wildflowers blooming along the roads and around the perimeter of the cemetery made everything so peaceful.

The funeral was beautiful. There was so much love in the church and you could see how many lives Paw Paw touched. He was such an incredible man and he always treated me like I really was one of his grandchildren. Even though I was only blessed with knowing him for two years I feel so loved by him. I had the opportunity to spend time with him at his farm a few times and heard wonderful stories about David when he was younger and the rest of their family. Paw Paw even told me a few stories about his wife Noni who passed away when David was in high school. His dedication to his family and love for the Lord was evident in every story he told and his every action which I admire so much. He was a wonderful, wonderful man and will truly be missed.

I've been incredibly fortunate in my life and only had to attend one memorial service before. Paw Paw's funeral was my first experience with a burial and it was really hard to handle. Every time I thought I could take a deep breath and finally compose myself someone else would say something wonderful about Paw Paw and I would lose it again. But the most heart breaking thing was seeing David upset. It ripped my heart apart to see my husband cry and exude such sadness. David loved Paw Paw so much and valued every opportunity he had to spend time with Paw Paw and you could see in his face how incredibly sad he was. I wanted to just scoop him up and tell him everything will be ok and I will fix it all but I can't. I can't fix this. I can't make it any less painful. And that is so hard for me to accept.

As painful as it is to have lost Paw Paw, it is incredibly comforting to know how happy he must be to have been reunited with his wife. I cannot imagine having to live seven years without the love of my life and I know it must have been difficult for him every day. I love knowing that he is in heaven sharing his stories with Noni and being with his Creator.